


Breaking good

by MidoriFlowersEwe



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, Jesse is a teacher, Walter is a drug dealer, inverse of cannon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidoriFlowersEwe/pseuds/MidoriFlowersEwe
Summary: Walter Heisenberg is a bitter small-time drug dealer who's been bad all his life. But he finds out he has terminal cancer, he needs a job with health-cover to pay for his medical bills. He thinks all hope is lost, but then he runs into some kid he used to sell weed to but is now a teacher. With Jesse's unwilling help, Heisenberg becomes Mr White, a skilled teacher.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One of my old stories. Basically follows the plot of the first few episodes of breaking bad, except in a warped inverse universe.  
> Warning for cartoon-like violence.

Walter Heisenberg was a drug-dealer, and he had been bad from the day he was born. All his life, he'd walked over people and hurt people to get what he wanted, and were had it landed him? He had a crappy-job as a low-level drug dealer, working for some Romanian guy who had huge eyebrows. He had a wife, who only really cared about smoking crack (Which she really shouldn't be doing since she's pregnant) and a son who just annoyed him, so Walter ignored him most of the time. Everything in Walter's life had been a failure. He always felt like he was destined for greater things, he had the skills to become the best drug lord ever but he'd squandered it; years ago, him and his partners Elliot and Gretchen created the ultimate, purest meth together 'blue sky'. Watler sold his stake in the company for 'personal reasons' (okay, he totally just needed the money to bail himself out of prison) a decision he regretted when the Blue sky made Millions of dollars and Walter only got a teeny tiny fraction of that.

Walter thought he would spend the rest of his life as a low-level drug-dealer, but something happened on his fiftieth birthday that changed EVERYTHING.

That day started out like normal. Skyler chucked Walt his usual plate of joints, except today she'd aranged them especially in the shape of a fifty. Cute.

"Thanks, skank." Walt said, lighting up his spliff.

"D-dad.. could you not smoke that please? I don't wanna get high before school.." Junior started.

"Shut up Junior." Walt and Skyler say in usion. Junior looked down at the floor.

"Okay.."

* * *

Walter stood on the street corner as usual, selling weed to kids who had no respect for the quality, and no interest in science of the plant. He felt under-appreciated. Even the Meth he sold (which was top-class) never received enough praise. he hated this job, it was too hot outside and standing up selling stuff all day was shit. He especially got annoyed when one addict couldn't pay the money he owed for the meth, and just ran of before Walt had a chance to gun him down.

Walter was about to go home for the day, when suddenly Bogdon, his boss, drove by, his eyebrows flowing in the breeze "Walterrr I need you to clean up a dead body for me."

"Bogdon! I'm a drug-dealer, not a body disposer."

"I'm short staffed." Bogdon said, driving away, Walter grumbled, about to dispose of the body when suddenly, he began coughing. He'd had a bad cough for a while now and it felt like his lungs were full of molten lava. He couldn't breath, he could feel his vision failing, his mind slowly slipping to a painful unconscious state

* * *

"Yo Mister Heisenberg. I got some bad news for you, Dawg." Walter's eyes snapped open, and he looked around trying to figure out where he was. He was in a bed and a man in a white coat was standing oppisite him, talking to him.

"Where am I? Who are you"

"Your in the hospital, yo, and I'm Doctor Skinny Pete." The man said.

"Why am I in hospital? was I in a gun fight?"

"Naw man, that's what I'm tryna tell you! you got lung cancer. Like Terminal. Your gonna die, dude." Dr Skinny Pete said, solemnly. "But like treatment could help- chemo and that, could get you back on your feet. And that's church, yo"

"How am I suppose to afford that?" Mr Heisenberg said, annoyed.

"Well like, usually your place of work will have insurance, or something."

Walter groaned- damn he needed to find a proper job and quick! but how!?

* * *

When Walter got home that night, there was a party in his house, a full-on crack head rave. Some old guy was smoking a bong in the corner, there was spray-paint on the walls, a fat-guy lay on the floor while people threw stuff at him.

"Welcome home, ye fucking dildo." Skyler said, greeting him with a passionate kiss "Suprise party!"

Hiesenberg did not feel like a party, but whatever he was just pleased to be home doing drugs with his family and friends. Just then, Hank, Walt's brother-in-law arrived, with his generous wife Marie.

"Let's get this party started! oh yeeah!" Hank cheered, stealing all the attention. Hank was a gun for hire. A tough criminal people hired to beat guys up when they didn't pay debt, and rob people and stuff.

"Hold on- this is my crime on the telly!" Hank said, switching on the news. Walter's old Tv FLickered to life, showing a news-reporter standing outside an old burned-down house.

"Police are still trying to find the man who robbed this school. Thousands of $'s worth of equipment was robbed. Witnesses describe a short bald man who looked like a fat Bruce Willis leaving the building."

"That's me!" Hank shouted.

The news reported continued "Anyway, teachers harmed are all okay, because the school will pay for their medical bills because it provides all health insurance."

"Wow- teachers get health insurance? good health insurance?"

"yeah. Untill I kill them." Hank said, he was always hired to kill teachers and to destroy school-equipment by drug lords, because studies showed that children getting lower-quality education were more likely to drop out and do drugs.

"Those teachers are disgusting, corrupting our children into not taking drugs." Marie said.

"Yeah! down with education!" Skyler agreed. But Walter Heisenberg thought of all the health-benefits and suddenly he wasn't so sure.

"Hey, one day I'll take you on a raid of a school- get a little excitement in your like, you know?" Hank offered, showing of his gun "This guns for men, not like you, Walter."

"Gee thanks." Walter said, glaring at Hank. What a dick.

* * *

Walter sat in the back of the car, watching as Hank and his men stormed the school and terrorized all the teachers who were in there at the weekend for a teacher's meeting. "How dare these fucking scum try to give our customers and education." Hank said angrily, as he tied up a teacher named Emilio and threw him in the back of the van as a hostage.

Just then, Walter looked up and saw a young man drop from the school window wearing nothing but his underpants. A sexy topless secretary tossed down his clothes. He was a teacher trying to escape. Just then, Walter and the man looked at each other, and Walter recognized him instantly. Jesse Pinkman, some little shit who he used to sell weed to/from. He knew the guy was kind of lame but being a teacher- fuck that shit!

"shhhhhh." Jesse hushed, dashing of to his car. Walter just gaped at him. But then suddenly he got an idea, an idea so crazy and so brilliant that only an evil genius high on drugs could think of it. Luckily that was exactly what Walter Heisenberg was.

* * *

Walter managed to track Jesse down easily using the yellow-pages he did the creepy thing and stalked him to his house. As soon as he arrived, Jesse ducked below his car.

"Come out. I can see you." Heisenberg said, menacingly. reluctantly, Jesse creeped out from the car, clearly shaking.

"Listen dude, if your going to give me up to those fucking teacher-hating thugs.." Jesse started, Walter put his hand over his mouth.

"I'm not gonna do that."

"-Well if your gonna try convince me to like, do drugs and sell meth again, I'm not interested yo' highschool was a long time ago, I'm not into that sort of shit anymore, Mr Heisenberg." Jesse said, pushing Walter's hands away, But Walter only shook his head.

"The DEA took all your equipment, and locked up your fellow teacher Mr Emillio. your back on square 1." Walter said. Incase your wondering DEA is the gang Hank's in, it stands for 'Destorying Education Activists'. "But you've got the knowledge of the teacher business and I'm really good at like, connecting with kids, so I'm thinking maybe you and me could partner up as teachers."

"How about no." Jesse said "I'm not getting you a job!"

"You don't have a choice!" Walter hissed, grabbing Jesse's arms suddenly "I'll tell Hank's gang your a teacher and they'll come beat the shit out of you!"

"How about I call the police right now!" Jesse said, looking angrily at the old guy who used to sell him drugs back in high school. Walt pulled out his gun, and shoved it in Jesse's mouth, Jesse whimpered, his argument dying in his throat.

"That's more like it." Walter Heisenberg said, grinning as Jesse became submissive out of fear "Now your going to help me become a fucking teacher, that right?"

Jesse nodded fearfully as best he could with a mouth-full-of gun.

"And are you going to call the police?"

Jesse shook his head, 'no', Walter gave Jesse one last menacing grin, before returning his gun to it's holster, and walking of to his car "Good- we have a deal. See you tomorrow!"

" But Tomorrow's Sunday, you fucking moron!" Jesse shouted, as Heisenberg sped of.


	2. Bag's in the cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter makes his first attempt at acting as a teacher

Jesse stood at the front of the class, flicking through the slides of the PowerPoint, while the students copied down, dutifully.

"So like, all the atoms in the nucleus are made of Quakers, or something. And there's this thing called a boson. I think that's kinda important, so like- research it or something." The teacher said, while playing doodle-jump under the table with his phone.

"Sir! Do you even know what your talking about!?" Piped up Wendy. She was a total nerd, who after becoming a nun decided to come back to high school because she loved the lessons so much. The principle really wanted her to leave, especially since she was thirty-five now, but he didn't want to like, anger Jesus or whatever by arguing with a nun. Jesse found teaching her majorly weird, especially since she used to baby-sit him.

"Umm, duh of course I do I'm the teacher." Jesse replied, while sending a snap-chat to Dr skinny Pete.

"Well, what's a Boson then?"

"Do I have to spoon-feed you everything? Independent research, bitch!"

"Jesse! Are you ready to teach!?" The classes head's whipped around, to see a bald man leaning on the door frame, while smoking a joint. It was Walter Heisenberg.

"What the hell man!? You can't be here!" Jesse hissed, actually worried for his class- I mean, they were basically being exposed to a man who sold meth and melted bodies for a living. He could get sued.

"I'm here to teach, are you deaf?" Walter said triumphantly. He strode across the classroom like he owned the place, and sat himself firmly on the desk.

"Why do you even want to be a teacher, yo!?" Jesse whispered frantically, trying to get the serial killer to leave. The class just ignored them and talked amongst themselves, because like typical teens they did not give a single shit about whatever the teacher was doing. "It's not even that easy!"

"Jesse, your attempts to deter me are useless- " Walter said, shaking his head, "I've convinced kids to do drugs for years, I know how to get through to them."

"That's it I'm actually calling the cops- " Jesse began, only to have a gun shoved in his mouth once again.

"Ha! Look everybody! Mr Pinkman's gonna get shot!" Some kid called out, and everyone laughed.  
Jesse scowled at Walt and backed away

"fine. Go ahead and read of the PowerPoint. See how much fun teaching is, bitch."

"No. No power points." Heisenberg said. "Teaching is a passion! You have to do it properly."

"Whatever." Jesse said, still sulking because Walt would shoot him if he tried anything.

"Good! Okay class I'm your new teacher!" Walter said, pausing for a moment "And my name is... Mr White."

Skyler knew something was up with her husband. He'd been acting all strange and moody, and he hadn't even finished his bowl of meth this mourning.

She didn't think anything of it, but one day, when she was looking through the trash (how she usually got most of her clothes) she came across an incriminating book called 'how to educate kids' she gasped!

What was Walter doing looking at this!? She knew it couldn't be junior's book, because her and Walt had locked him in the car boot last weekend and he hadn't been out since. She meant to free him soon, but she kept forgetting, you know? Oh well, there was enough left-over moldy food in there to keep him going for a little while...

"99%! Everyone in the class got 99% or above!" Jesse said, beaming. "Man, your a goddamn artist!"

The class he just finished their quizzes after Walt's lesson, and they'd all gotten super-high results. Jesse was so happy about this he forgot Walter was a serial-killer who sold drugs, and just focused on him being impressed.

"I know, I know I'm rather skillful." Walter said, trying to be humble "But when will I get my pay-check and health benefits?"

"What are you- retarded? You can't just turn up and teach the class and get paid and stuff." The younger man said, disdainfully as he sucked on his lollipop (his replacement for METH).

"Well that's what you do isn't it? Minus the teaching part."

"Asshole. You have to like, sign up as a teacher first, you have to speak to the principle." Jesse said, rolling his eyes.

"Great. Get me a meeting with him." Walter said, grinning. "Getting a job should be easy, they're desperate for teachers these days!"

"Yeah only cause your asshole brother in law keeps attacking them and slaughtering their families." Jesse grumbled. "Whatever I'll go speak to Principle Krazy 8, but he only like, hired me cause Emilio's his cousin and me and him go way back!"

"Just show him the test results. He'll hire me." Walter said smugly, he stuck a joint in his mouth, and lit it by shooting at it until it went on fire. After the roof was sufficiently destroyed, he walked out, leaving Jesse to clean up the mess.

"Sorry I'm late, honey." Walter said as he arrived in the baby-scanning room. Skyler glared at him.

"Fuck you." Skyler said as the doctors scanned her tummy "I need to talk to you."

"We're talking right now, Skyler." Walt said evenly.

"Don't play dumb, fool! I found books in the house! Books about teaching! And who's Jesse Pinkman!? Why were you calling him of our phone- don't try to deny it I checked. I looked him up on Facebook too and he's a teacher! What's going on!?"

Walter sighed, he had to think of a lie- fast! No way he could tell her he was a teacher." I uhh. I was tired of my customers calling me dumb so I got him to tutor me."

"You got taught!? Lessons?" Skyler said, aghast. "You have a brother in law in the DEA how could you!?"

Walter growled, tired if his wife bitching at him, if she was this mad at tutoring sessions, he could only dread how she'd react if she found out the whole truth! "You know what you need to do for me, honey, you know what I want you to do?" Walter said, papatronizingly"Get on my Ass. I want you to crawl into my Ass for five minutes- you know I'd appreciate it."

Nobody, especially not Skyler really knows what the hell Walt even meant by this. But since everything here is the opposite of breaking bad that's what he said. Skyler glared at him angrily, but mostly just confused. Luckily, Walt was saved from the awkwardness of having to explain, by Nurse Beaver.

"Excuse me, Mrs Heisenberg, like, how long you had that bun in the oven?" Nurse Badger asked walking over.

"A while. It's just kept growing!" Skler replied.

"And this is like- your first scan in all this time? How did ya find out you were expecting?"

"I looked down one day and realized I was pregnant Duh- what kind of doctor are you!?"

"I'm a nurse!" He said proudly. "Anyways.. I have like, some bad news,"

"Oh no what?"

"Well uh, your not actually pregnant, your just fat." Nurse Badger said. "I'd recommend you go on like, a diet or something yo' cause this ain't normal."

"This can't be!" Walter cried. " I don't wanna be married to a fatty!"

"Heavy." Badger said, sympathetically. "Um anyway it's like all the fat in your body went to your stomach cause of drugs."

"Fuck you! How dare you call me fat!" Skyler hissed, lunging over and trying to attack him. "You think I'm fat, huh you little bitch!? I'll destroy you! I'm still hotter than you! I could get more guys than you ever could! You look like a man!"

Walter dragged his crazy crack-head wife out of the hospital before she could kill anyone. She kept screaming at Nurse Badger calling him and ugly whore who looks like a guy, she didn't realise Badger already was a guy because she didn't know nurses could be men as well.

Jesse walked sheepishly into Principle Krazy 8's office.

"Hey, um Mr Krazy 8 can I speak to you a sec?" He asked, shifting from foot to foot nervously, the principle rolled his eyes.

"What now, Pinkman did one of your students swallow an alkali?" He said, angry already.

"No." Jesse huffed.

"Did you?"

"That was one time- I thought it was lemonade. Whatever- look at the results from my last test." Jesse said, throwing down the test papers- 99% accurate, some even higher.

Principle Krazy 8 took one look at them and scowled "who's been teaching these kids? Because I know for a fact you punk ass did not produce these!"

"That's what I was tellin' you, yo. I got this guy who's helping me teach, he's really good. He wants a job!" Jesse said, practically beaming, Krazy 8 on the other hand looked horrified.

"You mean you've been letting some guy come into the school how hasn't even had a CRB check!? When security's so high, too!? I'm beginning to question your loyalties, you little Bitch!" Krazy 8 yelled.

"Hey what's that suppose to mean, huh? What loyalties?"

"The DEA raids the school and your not in the staff room? Emilio thinks it's more than a coincidence. Emilio thinks that you sold him out!"

Jesse shook his head. "I would never! He's like a brother to me, yo! You can tell him that as soon as he escapes from being kidnapped."

"How about you tell him right now?" Krazy 8 said, as Emilio entered the room.

"Shit.." Jesse murmured.

Walter was just teaching out in the classroom while Jesse got him the job for real, that was when Krazy 8's car pulled up suddenly outside the classroom, it blocked up most of the hallway and knocked all the lockers over when it drove around, but for some reason Principle Krazy 8 still insisted on getting around the school in a car, and nobody dared argue with him because he's the Goddamn principle.

"He's a teacher just like us, I swear!" Jesse cried from the back of the car. But Emilio shook his head.

"No I recognise him from the raid. He's with the DEA! I'm calling the cops!"

"Mr Heisenberg run!" Jesse cried, jumping out the car and legging it, only to face plant the floor. The class laughed, so Jesse stayed down hoping to make them feel guilty for mocking him by pretending to be knocked out. It didn't work.

"I'm a teacher , I promise." Walter said, look I'll even show you my strategy!"

"Strategy? What the hell do you mean!?" Krazy 8 said, angrily. "Intruders will be prosecuted! Your putting the class at risk by being here! I'm calling the police right now!"

Walter panicked, he had to use his skills of influencing children. "Class anyone who doesn't attack the principle and Mr Emilio are gay and lame and they're on detention!"  
The reaction was instant, the class lunged forward and started beating up Mr Emilio and Principle Krazy 8.

"Yo that's like, homophobic you shouldn't say that, Mr Heisenberg." Jesse said, hopping up from the floor to avoid being trampled on.

Mr White just laughed, "We had no other choice, Jesse, Now who's going to stop me from getting my health benefits!?"

"Jesus Christ, just because you beat up the Principle doesn't mean you have a job, bitch!" Jesse said, trying to pull the kids away, as they pulled out Mr Emilio's lung.

"Okay class settle down! Seriously stop trying to kill teachers. Yo we could get arrested for this! Aw man! No! Timmy don't bite him there!"

"Don't worry, Jesse." Walt said, pulling him back. "They'll be dead soon and there'll be nobody to call the police on us or fire you."

But then the bell went, and all the kids ran out in a hurry to get home. Emilio and Krazy 8 lay on the floor in a bloody mess. The principle twitched, while Emilio lay completely motionless, his intestines fling about the room like some sort of satanic Christmas decoration.  
Walter took a moment to survey the damage, he let out a deep sigh, and lit his spliff, taking a long puff before speaking.

"Well, shit."


	3. And the river's in the cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter attempts to do the right thing for the first time in his life.

Now what!? What're we going to do I think Emilio's dead! Oh shit! What have you done!" Jesse panicked, Walter pushed him into a chair.

"Sit down and shut up!" He commanded. "I tell you what we do it's easy, we kill principle Krazy 8 and we get rid of both their body's."

"N- no way this is gone to far!" Jesse said, panicking like any ordinary person would, he tried to get up but Walter pushed him down again. "We can't kill them!"

"What!? I can't just not kill somebody!" Walter huffed, shivering at the mere thought of letting his enemy's go. "That's wrong,"

"And we can't just get rid of the body yo, we have to give it a proper burial!" Jesse said, Walt frowned down at him. Was it even possible for him to do something good? Could he even live with himself?

"Okay well, your arranging the funeral." Mr Heisenberg said, Jesse scowled.

"No way man, I hate funerals!" Jesse said. "I went to one once and my Dad pushed me into and empty grave for not selling enough Meth-"

"Fine then! You can deal with Krazy 8. You can take him the hospital and convince him to not call the police, and sit by his bedside while he recovers, and hold his hands through surgery, and bring him presents everyday!" Walter shouted. "Because if we have to do the right thing here we're gonna go all the way! We're not just dropping him of at the hospital we have to look after him!"

"Why?" Jesse asked, super-confused. He didn't want to have to look after Krazy 8 though, "fine I'll just arrange the funeral!"

"You have to buy a coffin made out of mahogany."

"What! why?"

"He's an esteemed member of the public! People will expect the best..!"

"Uhh... Okay." Jesse said, still thinking maybe he should call the police after all- but the results were so good...

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my proper job drug-dealing. You get me a job while I'm gone." Walt said as he jumped out the window like a madman, once again leaving Jesse to clean up the mess.

Krazy 8 awoke with a sudden panic. Violent memory's cursed through his aching head, he'd been beaten up, hadn't he. The soft pillow beneath his head, and the gentle beeping of a machine next to him told him he was in hospital.

"Oh good, your up, rise and shine sleepy head." Said Walter, he thought it sounded sweet, but it was more creepy, Krazy 8 let out a moan of distress.

"You!? Are you here to finish the job!?" Krazy 8 gasped.

"I wish. I'm here to take care of you, want some orange juice?" Walt offered, it caused him actual physical pain to be 'nice' to someone like this. This probably wasn't helping his lung cancer at all..

"Nurse! Help!" Krazy 8 cried, nurse Badger came flying over

"Yo wassup, dude?"

"Throw this man out! He's evil!" The Principle said desperately, Badger just scratched his head, dumbly.

"Nah man, he's family, so he's aloud to stay." He said, struggling to remember hospital procedures.

"This man is not my family!" Krazy 8 cried out, wincing as a shock of pain ran through his broken leg.

"Nah man, he said he's your Dad."

"He's clearly not my father! We're not even the same race you in-bread spastic piece of mouldy shit!"

"Geeze man, if your gonna get abusive then I can't help you." Badger said, storming away, tears pricking his eyes. Didn't people realise it hurt when he got called names!? Walter meanwhile patted Krazy 8 on the head.

"Don't worry son, I'll take care of you." He said through gritted teeth. Man he wanted to kill the guy!

* * *

Jesse was reluctantly making funeral arrangements in his modest little terrest house, when all of a sudden an enraged and intoxicated Skyler White burst through his gate, her mouth frothing with liquid anger (yes, that's a thing.)

"You!" She hissed, and Jesse backed away,

"Yo of your selling anything, I'm not buying!" He said, trying to act like a calm sensible adult.

"I'm Skyler Heisenberg Yo, Wife of Walter Heisenberg, yo!" Skyler said, throwing up her arms wildly, Jesse felt his heart drop in his chest, and a cold panic run through him.

"Stay away from my husband, yo! My brother in law's a thug! He'll beat the shit out of you!" She shrieked.

"Okay! Yeah sure! Whatever! Just leave me alone!" Jesse said, backing away. Man, why was Mr Heisenberg's wife such a ball buster.

"So you're not going to educate him again, right?"  
"Right!"

Skyler glared at Jesse, staring him down, then she realised something; Jesse was hot. "You wanna fuck?"

Jesse looked at the older woman awkwardly. "No thanks.."

"What!? You don't think I'm pretty!?"

"No uhh, your totally pretty- "

"Then fuck me!"

"No!"

Skyler glared at him. "You better give me a good fucking reason why, or I'll cry and you do not want to make a pregnant woman cry, especially when her brother in law's a thug!"

"Its because I'm... Gay!" Jesse lied. "Yeah. I totally love men. Mm."

Skyler looked at him for a moment before saying "Where the hell am I? Why am I here?". She looked around confused "the fuck're you!? Im going home!"  
Jesse sighed, drugs really fucked people up. He was glad he quit back when he was 13.

* * *

"We are gathered here today, to lay to rest Emilio, who, although I've never met, has been described by his family as an expendable kind of guy who probably wont be missed." Father Combo said, sonmly. "We also give thanks to the anonymouse person who arranged this funeral, so that Emilio got like, a proper buriel, fo' shizzle!"

Jesse stood at the back of the crowd, scowling, "fucking funerals." He muttered, damn he hated grave yards! He'd wanted this whole ordeal over and done with so badly he'd bought the first coffin he'd see, and it happened to be made out of cardboard.

Suddenly, Jesse's phone rang he picked it up, and Walter's raspy voice hissed into his ear. "Jesse, I don't know if I can keep this whole looking after Krazy 8 thing going. Its killing me not killing him!"

"Yo, you think things are bad your end!? I've had your ball bustin' wife comin' over and threatening me. I'm stuck in a lame-ass funeral, and the whole school's messed up!"  
"Your at the funeral now!?"

"Yeah that's another thing- why're you tryna get me to waste my time getting a mahogany coffin when I can just use a cardboard box?"

"You what!?" Walter cried out. Suddenly, Emilio's body cracked through the flimsy carpboard and slammed into the hard floor, it exploded for some reason and guts got everywhere. People screamed and fled the scene.

"You were saying?" Walter started smugly down the phone, to the shell-shocked Jesse. "Oh yes- dead bodies are fucking heavy so put them in a proper coffin."

"W- what?" Jesse stuttered, still aghast. "How'd you even know that just happened?"

"Jesse, I kill people and dispose bodies for a living, I can recognise the sound of an exploding corpse dropping out of a coffin anywhere." Mr Heisenberg said smugly. "God your such an imbecile!"

* * *

"Say ah- "

"Fuck of."

"Don't be mister moody- eat your soup. I made it especially, it's cocaine flavoured."

"-please! For the love of god!"

Walter had reluctantly been taking care of Krazy 8 for days now, and despite how much the lack of killing had disgusted him, he took his role very seriously. So, he forced his care onto the principle until the guy developed a sort of Stockholm syndrome. Since Walter was his only visitor, Krazy 8 ended up getting attached to his violent carer, who somehow had the ability to make food purely out of bullets, drugs and fags. Krazy 8's body took 2 weeks to heal, but it would take years of therapy for him to get over the psychological trauma. His mind was so warped by Walter's creepiness that he was sent to a mental asylum, and so as a result Walt was never arrested for his misdeeds, and his quest to become a teacher continued.


End file.
